Spare Your Inner Hamster – – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You – – (2025, US, Color, 113 min) – -27 January 2026

Not recommended. So if you enjoy unneeded root canals, or watching car crashes, this is your movie. Mary Bronstein directorial debut, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, shows you the crash, along with the driver ejecting through the windshield, while realizing that she left the water on in the bathtub. This movie is a 113-minute series of unrelenting unfortunate events that begin immediately after the credits end and continue right through the SAG/AFTRA logo. Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids) won the Golden Globe in the category of comedies – – and has been nominated for an Oscar – – but this movie is too much like MY real life to be funny. And . . . it ends without any resolution of the plot or explanation for the point of the preceding misery of the story leads or viewers. Conan O’Brien also debuts(?) his acting career as the world’s worst therapist. Do yourself a favor and miss this.